Discretion isn’t always a concern when it comes to buying and using a vibrator. But if you live in a house full of other people who might get into your stuff, it very well might be a priority. Thankfully, your favorite sex toy shops are loaded with discreet vibrators that offer subtlety and intensity in equal measure.
Finding time to use a vibrator is often harder than it should be. Between work, social engagements, family responsibilities, and the always-growing list of shows you need to watch on Netflix, carving out a little Me Time can be a serious challenge. The last thing you need is for your few, well-earned minutes of escape to be ruined by a vibrator that’s so loud it threatens to wake up the whole house.
And, of course, when we’re talking about discretion we’re not only talking about volume—we’re also talking about toys that are understated in appearance. Toys that don’t attract a lot of visual attention. Toys that, well, don’t obviously look like sex toys. A quiet motor is key to keeping someone from barging in on your alone time. But you also want a go-to that you can throw in your nightstand—or toss into your suitcase—without giving it a second thought. It doesn’t matter who stumbles upon your favorite vibrator if that vibrator looks like a necklace, or tube of lip balm, or even a rubber duckie. (Yes, the latter really does exist—for better or worse.)
What’s nice? There are so many sneaky sex toys on the market that allow you to keep your sexy business on the DL. You can absolutely find a sex toy that isn’t obviously recognizable, and that doesn’t sound like a swarm of bees every time you turn it on. Sex toys so smart they practically disguise themselves? We’ll take 20.
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Rianne S. Heart Vibe
A vibrator that’s as cute as it is powerful, the Rianne S. Heart Vibe will surely make a sweet addition to any sex toy collection. Crafted from supple silicone, the toy is incredibly smooth to the touch. And its unique shape allows for a few different kinds of targeted stimulation.
Crave Vesper
A vibrator that hides in plain sight, the Crave Vesper is a sleek sex toy that doubles as an even sleeker necklace. Wear the vibrator out and about, or just take advantage of the fact that it looks like a piece of jewelry and leave it on your nightstand without giving it a second thought. If someone stumbles upon it, they’ll just think they’re looking at an accessory — and they might even ask where they can get one of their own.
Dame Products Eva II Hands-Free Clitoral Vibrator
The Eva II was designed to be a seamless addition to partner play. Whereas other clitoral stimulators are bulky — and hard to make space for during intercourse — the Eva II slips right over your clitoris to provide a little extra fun. The toy’s quiet motor and confounding appearance make it a particularly discreet way to spice things up in the bedroom.
LoveAI DOLP Massage Pleasure Toy
The LoveAI DOLP Massage Pleasure Toy looks more like a kid’s toy than a sex toy, and when it comes to discretion, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The toy offers two ends you can use to customize your solo play experience, and it comes complete with an app you can use to remotely control the toy.
Fin Finger Vibe
Though finger vibrators require a little more effort than the average sex toy, they offer all kinds of discretion. Since finger vibrators are small, their motors tend to err on the quiet side. Plus, they rarely, if ever, resemble standard sex toys, so it’s unlikely anyone will stumble upon one and know exactly what it is.
I Rub My Duckie
Those of you who thought I was kidding when I mentioned “rubber duckie vibrators” will be shocked (and maybe a little unnerved) to learn I was absolutely serious. The I Rub My Duckie is quiet, discreet, and totally waterproof — naturally. Keep it in your bathroom (far out of reach of little ones), and no one will have any idea it’s actually a vibrator.
We-Vibe Touch Clitoral Vibrator
The We-Vibe Touch offers eight different modes of clitoral stimulation — all of which are pretty discreet. Its small size and supple silhouette keep it from veering into “obviously a vibrator” territory, despite it being one of the most top-rated sex toys around.
Iroha Mini Vibe
In addition to being incredibly adorable, the Iroha Mini Vibe is decidedly discreet. Its appearance leaves it looking more like a lip balm than a sex toy, and it boasts subtle vibrations that keep the volume to a minimum.
YUEER Stealth Wearable Vibrator
The YUEER Stealth Vibrator gives new meaning to the phrase “discreet sex toy.” Sure, you can use it at home, knowing its quiet motor and sea creature-like appearance will keep it thoroughly disguised. But you can also slip it into your underwear and wear it, well, anywhere.
Je Joue Mimi Clitoral Vibrator
The Je Joue Mimi doesn’t look at all like a sex toy, but its supple silicone and targeted tip make it one of the most popular vibrators around. If someone saw it on your nightstand, they’d have no clue what they were looking at. Plus, the quiet motor will keep the toy’s 11 modes from attracting too much attention.
Mini Wand Massager
If this wand were any longer, it’d definitely look like a vibrator. But its miniature size keeps it looking more like a toy microphone than anything else. Wands are iconic for a reason — they offer penetrative and clitoral stimulation in equal measure. And this smaller, subtler version is sure to get the job done as effectively as a full-sized wand would.
Mini Wand Massager, $20.99 at Amazon
Desire Luxury Panty Vibrator
The Desire Luxury Panty Vibrator is exactly what it sounds like—a sex toy you can (discreetly!) slip into your underwear and wear all day long. Of course, if you’re not looking for a little all-day fun, you can also use this toy like a regular vibrator. The subtle hum will delight (without disturbing others), and the shape will offer a few different kinds of stimulation.
Iroha Plus Tori
Babeland’s Iroha Plus line offers three different vibrators, all of which are discreet in appearance and in sound. (The Tori is pictured here.) Each toy boasts a supple, squishy silicone form, and provides deeper, rumbly vibrations. Subtle and versatile, the Iroha Plus line is a great place to start when seeking a discreet toy.
Iroha Plus Tori, $140 at Babeland
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