A good sex toy is a few things: It’s fun. It’s effective. And it’s (generally) long-lasting. A truly excellent sex toy, though, is all of these things — and it’s also easy on the eyes. (We’re talking pretty-enough-to-leave-out-on-your-nightstand-without-giving-it-a-second-thought pretty.)
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Since a sex toy’s chief purpose is to turn you on, you obviously don’t want to opt for something that leaves you feeling weirded out (or worse, grossed out) every time you look at it. But being discreet or inoffensive in appearance is the least a sex toy can do. Exceptional toys — the toys you swear by, recommend to your friends and buy time and time again — do more than the bare minimum. They delight. They entrance. They stun so thoroughly that you may find yourself tempted to adorn every corner of your house with them like your home is a funky little sex museum. And in some cases, the sex toys on offer are so pretty you actually could use them as decor (post-a healthy, product-recommended cleaning regimen!)
Some vibrators, dildos, and butt plugs are so excessively stunning that they manage to elevate the spaces they’re in. Their vibrant palettes, luxe materials, and sleek silhouettes complement the home aesthetic you’ve so carefully cultivated, rendering a room even more beautiful than it already is. They bring out the tones in the baubles around them. They add texture to arrays of decor. They brighten up otherwise-bare corners. And at the very, very least, they look fine — maybe even good — when lazily left atop a table, desk, or vanity.
Whether haphazardly strewn across a table or carefully assembled on a shelf, the following toys are sure to upgrade any corner of your home. And really, why not give them something to do while you’re not using them?
A version of this story was published December 2019.
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