While we’re used to hearing about how to deal with other people gaslighting us, sometimes it can come from within – and here’s how to identify it.
There are often so many conversations around gaslighting that it can be difficult to keep up. Whether it’s figuring out the best way to respond to gaslighting in a relationship to acknowledging gaslighting in the workplace, this very common type of abuse can appear pretty much anywhere – and sometimes, from within.
Dr Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist from the UK, has taken to TikTok to break down the three signs that you may be gaslighting yourself – yes, you’ve read that correctly.
While we’re used to hearing how others may be gaslighting us, it is possible that we can even do it to ourselves.
In the clip, which received over 11,000 likes, Dr Smith highlights the three signs that you may be gaslighting yourself, starting with blaming yourself for everything.
“You make excuses for other people’s behaviour but if you make a mistake you believe it says something fundamental about who you are as a person,” she says.
Secondly, Dr Smith shares that another sign that you are gaslighting yourself is when you never trust your own judgement.
She says this happens when “you see the opinions of other people as a much more credible source” and “live in an almost constant state of self-doubt and you look at other people for clarity”.
“Number 3, you invalidate or ignore your own feelings,” she adds.
Dr Smith says people tend to do this when they come to believe they’re oversensitive or overreacting so they “don’t know what emotions to listen to anymore”.
The TikTok, which gained over 110,000 views, saw people take to the comments to share how this related to them.
“Oh dear lord…why have I never heard of this before!” wrote one user. “It makes soo much sense to me now after recognising that I do embody a lot of these signs and tend to work myself up.”
“It’s hard to acknowledge that sometimes the gaslighting is coming from yourself as opposed to external factors,” said another. “We can sometimes be our own biggest critics, invalidating our own feelings and not allowing ourselves to just be fully human – flaws and all. Definitely going to learn from this.”
Gaslighting in any shape or form can be difficult to deal with. But acknowledging where it can stem from – even if it’s from ourselves – can be the right step towards moving forward and being kinder to yourself in the long run.
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